Memories of Sidney
words from family, friends, colleagues.
“He was one big soul. His belief in the innate wisdom of his students was unshakeable and he reveled in living even as he sought to change the world's inequalities.
Sidney, you always, always searched for answers that included everyone.
And you always always believed in love and healing.Your spirit changed me and lifts me still.”
— Lesley Absher
Sid as a Kid
by Sidney’s sister, Virginia “Ginio” Morris
“From the beginning. Sid was very lovable, but since tony was almost 7 and I was almost 5, we didn’t play with him until he was a little older. When he was three, Mother started a summer Day Camp on the farm for kids from the suburbs. Sid and Tony both went to the camp, and I went a little distance away, the next few summers, to a riding camp—to ride Welsh ponies with my friends. Sid had a lot of time with the other kids, and they rode on the hay wagon, did crafts in the barn, and swam in the pond.
Tony and I thought Sid had a lot more freedom than we did: mother let him stay up much later than we used to.
The summer my dad died, we had stopped in Newport, Rhode Island on the way to Maine. Dad had to go into the little local hospital for a minor surgery on a boil on his neck. The surgery was successful, but apparently Dad was left too long on a stretcher in a hallway and contracted pneumonia, from which he died unexpectedly. When he was still alive but suffering from pleurisy, we went to see him in the hospital. Several mornings later, mother came in the front door of Aunt Emily’s house, and looked up at the second floor mezzanine balcony railing, where I was standing. And I could see, in her face, what she was going to say: he was gone.
She was too overwhelmed to take me and Sid to Philadelphia to plan Dad’s funeral, so she only took Tony, who was just thirteen. Sid and I stayed behind.
What we two remembered from that time mother was away with Tony for the funeral was that a Norwich terrier of ours named Ginger jumped off the cliff walk, high above the Atlantic, and was rescued by a tree surgeon—he was lowered down on a rope, in a harness contraption, to rescue little Ginger.
Sid told me, summer before last, he really didn’t remember Dad. So I told him what I could and we decided to hold our own funeral ceremony for Dad. In the middle of my visit, on Chappy, he and I held an informal memorial, in Sid’s bedroom, where we both spoke out loud to Dad’s spirit.
When Dad died, mother bought a house in Chestnut Hill, after she sold the farm. I remember that when I was in eighth grade, I went to the Friday evenings formal dance class, and came home afterwards and taught Sid to dance—the foxtrot and the waltz. And once, when my friends came over for a sleepover, we dressed him up in a curly wig and called him Robin McGregor, and let him dance with us all, as one of us!
He always gave me credit for teaching him how to dance. This past year, when we talked on Facetime almost every week, he taught me how to teach. “Listen to the kids. Let it come from them; encourage them to do what interests them.”
He is with me still.”
Sid moves to Pittsburgh
by Sidney’s sister, Mary Moorhead
A piece written by Sid’s step-sister, Mary Moorhead, about the time after he moved to Pittsburgh, PA to live with her and her siblings when Sidney’s mother married Mary’s father.
I have many wonderful memories of Sidney, starting when his mother married my father and l had just turned 9 and he was already 10. Most of them were home based because l attended an all girls school and he attended an all boys school. He moved from Chestnut Hill PA-near Philadelphia-to Pittsburgh PA where we lived and my Father worked. I remember being told Sid was very excited to have a Father who was the Treasurer of the Gulf Oil Corporation. Mostly l think he was quite pleased to have a Father!
One of the ways we started to get to know each other was by listening to records and giving each other backrubs. He was much more generous than l was and l always got the longest massage. He also played records that l had not heard before and l always enjoyed. One was the South African singer Miriam Makeba. I still remember her lovely voice.
During these 4-5 years before we were both sent to boarding school, he met some of my friends and in particular my best girlfriend who lived on the other side of the block. She said Sid was her favorite brother of a friend to visit because he was so kind and never ever even considered hitting us or being unkind. She also said she remembers a visit to our house when we lay on the beds in the only air conditioned room, on a hot humid summer evening, and just laughed and giggled for the entire evening.
This reminds me that a lot of the brothers had b-b guns and a tendency to shoot squirrels and threaten their sisters and their friends, but Sid never ever had a gun nor considered anything unkind like that. He was gentle and creative.
When the boarding school years arrived at ages 14-18, he invited me up to Andover for a weekend with a blind date. I still have a very clear memory of, not the date so much, but of the fantastic Saturday night dance. I remember the incredible music, strobe lights, and exciting decorations.
When the college years came, l had originally been sent to an all girls junior college which l immediately detested. It was just like being in boarding school again. One day when l was complaining to Sid, he, who had recently visited California, said “Why don’t you go out there, you might like it.” And so l applied to the University of California at Berkeley, was luckily accepted, and out here l came. This was actually fairly radical for the time because it was considered a public school and everyone in my family attended private schools only. Plus it was during the free-speech movement and the Vietnam War protests. However l loved both The city of Berkeley and the great enormous university.
I still live in Berkeley, married a Japanese American student, and we raised two extremely successful children who have children of their own now. All thanks to Sid!
Finally, Sid and Margaret visited us in Berkeley several times. We always had fun. And two memories stand out. I didn’t think he knew my neighborhood very well but as you know Sid is a quick study. Before l was up, he had gone down to the shopping area near our house and bought a variety of bagels, cream cheese and lox for all of us. We had a fun breakfast together. Also l was worried that city life would be too noisy for him and Margaret since they were accustomed to lovely peaceful Martha’s Vineyard. But at breakfast they both said, “it’s so nice here-it’s so quiet and calm.” And Margaret said she hadn’t expected it.
Finally coming up to the present, when Sid was ill, l texted him several times with a few of these memories as well as a question that neither of us could answer. I vaguely remember listening to Arlo Guthrie play “ Alice’s Restaurant”
In Cambridge, with Sid. And l think it was in a tiny cafe in Cambridge. So l am deciding that we definitely heard Arlo play that great song and l know that Sid arranged it.
Thanks Sid, for everything,
And sending you love wherever you are.
Sister Mary